


This is Birdwatcher, Over

by NorthernFern



Series: Short Stories From Gotham City [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Grayson (Comics), Nightwing (Comics)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:42:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorthernFern/pseuds/NorthernFern
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick knows that Batman has many responsibilities and he is just one of Batman’s contacts over the world. Still, prolonging silence serves only to remind him, just how many things have changed.<br/>Timeframe:  "Garyson" #11 and #12</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is Birdwatcher, Over

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading "Grayson" some time ago and this little thing came to my mind. Hope you enjoy it.

Dick knows that Batman has many responsibilities and he is just one of Batman’s contacts over the world. Still, prolonging silence serves only to remind him, just how many things have changed since Crime Syndicate revealed his secret identity to the world. He was no longer “one of them,” superheroes. Even if they knew that he lives, a burning stigma on his back would keep them on distance. No doubt, they would sent him a few messages saying: “glad to have you back” or “welcome back,” or something even more cheesy, but no one would truly want him back. He would be a constant reminder of them having and hiding their secret identities. Them not telling the whole truth, them not trusting people enough to reveal themselves. And though he understands all that, it still hurts, to even imagine their rejection.

But they don’t know, for now it’s only Batman and even him has gone silent. For the first time in his twisted life, Dick feels truly alone. Because every other time he had had his parents and then Bruce, and Alfred, and Babs, and Jay, and Tim, and Dami… Because every other time he had had that feeling on belonging planted deep in his heart.

The heart that beats evenly but without enthusiasm. He’s living, gathering intel on Spyral, that will benefit Batman sometime when he will be in a need for it. This thought pushes him through day after day in this League-forgotten place. Sometimes, when he’s almost certain that Helena has retired for the day and her eyes are no longer watching his every move, he let himself slip a little. For that sort moment, in his mind he is back in Gotham, in his pixie boots and yellow cape, enveloped in the protective shadow of Batman’s cape. From time to time he visits Bludhaven and soars from one rooftop to another drunk with the concept of being independent but still part of something bigger. Occasionally, his memory drifts towards all his lovers and comfort that came with them. But it’s not this kind of comfort he needs right now. His compass searches stubbornly for the Dark Knight. He’s desperate and he knows it. He just doesn’t let himself be consumed by his own desire.

And yet, when given the chance he is back in Gotham in the matter of hours. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t slept much or that he might jeopardize that elaborate plan Batman made to gather intel on Spyral. It’s nothing compared to seeing and maybe even helping Batman again.

Alfred doesn’t say anything but it’s obvious that he is disappointed in both him and Bruce for faking Dick’s death at least for the family. He hugs Dick so hard that Dick’s heart almost breaks with regret. They are family and they should keep their little Bat-Club together as much as they can to not end in Arkham. After a while and a short lecture, because Alfred remains Alfred, the loyal butler is back to his old self and is performing alongside Dick in front of the changed Bruce Wayne.

He’s Bruce but not… _Bruce_. He doesn’t have that heavy burden upon his shoulders and that dark aura, which had scared petty criminals and mob bosses for years, yet had drew young Robins seeking comfort, towards him. Even though he’s not _his_ Bruce and he knows about this, his brain, surprisingly not his heart, tries to find some arguments on how much he is _his_. How he articulates those round tones and how his voice goes deep when he’s considering something. How he gesticulates while agitated about this thing or another. How he smiles when he sees Dick-not-Dick in his living room.

Those arguments grasp his heart and keep it firmly in their sharp talons, so no matter what he does and what he thinks he feels them going deeper and deeper while squeezing him breathless. He comes to the realization that he’s been like that since his parent had leaped to their deaths and Bruce’s heavy but reassuring hand had landed on his quivering shoulder. The only difference is that he had finally grew up and understood most of those uneasy feelings.

So when Agent Zero puts that dart in Bruce’s neck he is as much furious as he is relieved. Because if he has to watch those blue eyes with his burdened ones, he wants to see an equal understanding in them of many ordeals and supressed feelings. He hates himself for that. Alfred is right, when he says that this is finally the life Bruce deserves, free of any burdens and responsibilities. 

He has to remind himself over and over again, that he is only one of Batman’s contacts over the globe and beyond, and no matter how hard he wished he was something more, Bruce opposite him smiles in a friendly manner, unconsciously crushing Dick’s hope for any of it.

**Author's Note:**

> All comments will be greatly appreciated ;)


End file.
